Hi Ladies! Let’s talk. I thought it would be a good idea to open a discussion on this topic, because I think its totally healthy to reflect back on the woman you were before your womb was invaded! Were you wild and in these streets? ha! Where you reserved? Would curse anybody who rubbed you the wrong way? Were you a push over? Were you independent? Knew what you wanted, and how to get it? Where you stubborn? Was it all about you? Have your group of friends changed? Were you lacking something then, that would make you better today? So, you get the picture right?!
I had my son at a young age… I was nineteen years old, dating my boyfriend at the time (who is now my husband) we moved in together when my son was four months old-bought a home in one year, and we begin to start our little family. Most people would say we did it backwards. But I beg to differ… I learned a lot about myself having each one of my children- some things were not so pleasant, and some were just fine. My friends have definitely changed…actually constantly changed (sad to say) I was not really confident in who I was-well I wasn’t really sure who I was, and that absolutely shows by the company you keep. I never had time to grow-up quiet like a “nineteen year old” should have I guess… I never lived on my own-I didn’t enroll in college- having a baby at a young age- I was in straight Mom mode about a year after I graduated high school. So, not that you can’t do all those things as a Mom. Mom life was just my first priority. I did do some online classes when my son was a about a year old-but that was short lived. I wasn’t dedicated to school at all… it just wasn’t for me.
I learned who I was by experience. I met my Dad for the first time when I was twenty one years old. As we developed a relationship-that was also short lived. Our relationship was on and off-here and there. The last time I saw my Dad my middle child was two-weeks old, and he is now nine years old- you do the math. But you know it really didn’t bother me that much considering you really can’t miss anything you never had right? I had to go through some things that helped me grow into the woman I am today. Haven’t we all?! I’m not going to lie, I use to think back on how my Dad was not present- I just couldn’t understand why -why would my Dad not want me?, why wouldn’t he want to be in my life, what did I do, I am innocent in all this. How could he not want me in his life. In fact, that was the very first question I asked him “Why?” I just couldn’t imagine not knowing about my kids well-being, not being present in their everyday life. That definitely gave me a complex. This was an intricate part in my life. I use to think how different my life would be growing up if I was raised in a house hold with both of my parents-if I had my Father in my life instilling in me the confidence that I needed, giving me advice about boys. Showing me what to look for in a husband by the way he treated my Mother. Having that awkward Father/Daughter conversation about protecting my heart, and my secret place. Not that my Mother did’t teach me these principals. She did and she did a great job.But to hear from a Father – a Man… having that Father’s strong words present in your life is powerful. The first Man in your life you love-the first Man in your life you wish not to disappoint. I can stand here and say the absence of my Father did not affect the person I am today. I have done a pretty good job in being able to obtain everything I needed by experience and my Mother trying her best filling in that void.
I am not regretful:
I would say the path I took to “Adult Hood” I wouldn’t change it. It made me stronger, wiser, and I learned tons along the way. All that I experienced gave me the strength I needed to raise my children. When I was pregnant with my daughter- I cried for her because I was so happy that God had blessed her with her Father- She was getting what I didn’t have, and if I had to go through life without experiencing a two parent home for her to be able to…I would live through that again. For my boys to have a present Father to lead them by example of hard work, taking care of your family, and how to be a Man. It’s priceless! So, who was I before I became a Mom? Unaware- unaware of life and all it had in store for me. Unaware of the woman I would become. Unaware of the strength I would contain. Unaware of the Mother God knew I would be. God gave me my beautiful children who would only make me stronger. A stronger individual, a stronger wife, a resilient woman and AWARE!
“A Woman is like a tea bag- you never know how strong she is until she gets in the hot water”
When you look back over your life-can you remember who you were then, and are you comfortable with who you have become?
Thanks for reading♥
Posted by: Ivy