Back to the basics-getting back to the plan

Back to the basics. What does this even mean? Sometimes you can get so caught up in what’s going on around you-that you forget what your goals are, and what’s ahead for you. That means going back to the drawing board. What was the initial plan? Refer back to notes and bullet points you created for yourself. To live a fulfilling life is to put your best foot forward. What does that mean? It means never half step-if it’s not your best don’t do it. Go back and figure out how to make it better. How? I have compiled a list of ten things to check off below.

  1. Reassure yourself you got this/I am capable
  2. Mute the background noise/the worse thing in life is to have a bunch of people around you who don’t believe in you
  3. Be honest with yourself-there is always time to refocus.
  4. Be BRAVE
  5. If your only reason to do what you do is for the applause from the crowd… then your’re DOOMED!
  6. Be determined-to be discouraged at times-that comes natural, don’t stay there long. Brush it off (quickly)
  7. Never become complacent-always find ways to build.
  8.  The areas you are weak in…don’t run from it, and don’t be afraid to work harder in that area it will end up being your strong suit.
  9.  Be able to identity yourself. If you find yourself doing things that are totally out of your character-you may want to give yourself a friendly reminder of who you are
  10. Stay focused on your outcome not someone else’s.
  11. * BONUS- Live. Every. Moment. It is so important to be present in your life right now. To actually be AWARE. If going back to the basics is what it takes- Do it!

Loving you and who you are is so important. It can be a struggle for some-but investing  in yourself daily is the goal-investing in yourself spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally all play a major part in your journey. Take care of you.

What are some things you do when you find yourself going back to the basics?

Thanks for reading ♥

Posted by: Ivy B.

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The Switch Up

{Definitely  what I have been doing. But honestly I have been struggling guys. I have been so sluggish… lately I haven’t had a lot of energy. I mean I have been feeling so blah… I figured maybe I need to change up my routine. Trying to trade chocolate/terrible snacks for fruits, and coffee for green tea . In the mean time cutting back on the wine (notice I said cut back, not cut out) Ha! For the last week I have been trying to incorporate more fruits in my diet… I already drink an ocean load of water-which I kind of felt like it was making me sick (is that even possible?) Anyway, I reverted back to water with tons of lemon. I forgot how good it taste. Not to mention the great benefits lemon water has. (Refer to my previous post Detoxing Anyone? ) It’s kind of giving me a boost during the day. I have been filling water bottle after water bottle, adding lemon and let the water bottle sit in the freezer for just a  little bit. Just enough to get those ice chips. Oh yes! Perfect and so refreshing.}

So, what you just read ⇑ I wrote and saved as a draft four months ago. I’m scratching my head trying to figure out why I didn’t post it. But I can report that I am happy to say my feelings , energy and all the above have totally changed since then. I have been doing things a little different since then, that I can say I have definitely benefited from. I feel it  is so important to be honest with yourself. The lesson in this is to make changes to actually  see some change! Now I didn’t want to tweak this too much because I wanted to actually  compare what I was doing then and what I am doing now. Am I doing the same thing? As far as the coffee -Hmmmm…I am back on it full blown. Ha! I am so not drinking green tea… I am getting a little more sleep. Reading meaningful books-to keep me motivated, encouraged, and inspired. I have definitely cut back on the sweet snacks (I am very proud of this accomplishment) ha! I absolutely indulge when the time is appropriate-but to make the choice between fruit or a crappy snack -It’s been fruits and veggies, and eating more salads-instead of meals that weigh me down. (Now, this is not all the time-and I am not a health nut whatsoever -but I am making better CHOICES. I am still drinking loads of water with lemon-So, that hasn’t changed at all! But there is something else that I have done differently that has given me the extra boost I needed. I have swapped out my Women’s One a day vitamins for the Curls Blissful lengths liquid hair growth vitamin. Yep, that’s right guys. A simple switch in vitamins, and I can see the light! (Cue the heavenly angel music)- Oh, with the dramatics! Seriously ladies-this bottle of magic as worked wonders for me as far as energy. I have noticed enough for me to write this post or else I wouldn’t even waist time or I would just tell you it sucked. Let’s get into it. So the bottle claims to…

*Promote Healthy & Thick Hair and Nail growth

*Support Prevenative Skin Health

*Optimizes Metabolism

*No breakouts

Did you guys know that you absorb 98% of the liquid vitamin vs. 20% from a pill? (Yea I didn’t’ know that until I read it on the bottle) and I don’t know about y’all but I much rather take a liquid then fight to swallow a horse pill!

Now, I haven’t had any breakouts-so that’s a plus. My energy level is crazy-and the morning coffee is pushing that limit. I haven’t noticed any significant changes in my hair growth as of yet-but I am sure it’s coming. I have noticed that my curls are shiny and pop more, and super soft. (The curls that are not damaged anyway) Side Note: Still suffering from heat damage damn it! So, that’s a plus…NOT! I will attach a pic below so you guys can check out the ingredients for yourself. I absolutely recommend this vitamin if you are looking for the keys listed above. Although, this product may not be for everybody-you may experience something totally different -but you never know until you try it! So…where can you get it from? How much does this bottle of magic cost? The cost of the 8 oz bottle is a nice 25 bucks-and the bottle last for 15 days- Yea, that’s right you will have to repurchase a good bit, but I would say so far for me it’s worth it. You can purchase straight from the website itself (which I will link below) and they sell it in Target now! Whoo Hoo!! (online right now anyway) It’s coming soon to stores sometime this month. I am loving that. Oh, yea did I mention I am back at work now? Yep, just part time- I am off in time to get the kiddies off the bus-So getting out the house for a few hours during the day has contributed to my energy boost as well.

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Since I have been drinking my lemon water , and grabbing for fruit instead of chocolate chip cookies, gold fish or cheez- its- I can definitely say I have seen a difference in my energy level-What’s the reason for the switch up? Can I just vent for a second? My mind has been filled with so much lately. I find myself out of it sometimes. I think I finally got a routine set in place at home (which is great) but I was just feeling drained/exhausted. With the lack of sleep and ten thousand other things… Something had to change. So, I went on the hunt for a new vitamin and this was recommended to me by a fellow blogger. If I am going to be honest- I must say I was slightly skeptical at first-but my job as a blogger is to try new things-so I tried it. LOL! Honestly my One a day was not cutting it-and I needed to switch it up. Seriously though I am in between bottles because I only purchased one on my first order-because I wanted to make sure it actually worked for me. I can say with the vitamin being out of my system for a week now-I am feeling the pain! My energy is crap-like I have to push myself-I just don’t feel as good as I did when I was taking it. With me being slightly anemic-I have to keep a vitamin in my routine constantly or I don’t feel good at all. So, I definitely can’t wait until my new bottle comes in.

When it’s all said and done life is too short. And it is meant for us to enjoy the sweet things in life- but there is nothing wrong with re-working the route when things are looking a little ragged to better yourself. And what more could you ask for in a vitamin like this-to give you all that you need to keep your skin on point, energy level rocking, and your hair strong and in a good healthy state. I’m here for that!

What are you guys doing for a boost? Any other suggestions for me? If you purchase this vitamin or have already-write me a comment and let me know what you think and how it’s working for you. Get you a bottle girl! I will keep you guys posted when I start to see some hair growth.

http://www.curls.biz/Blissful-Lengths-Liquid-Hair-Growth-Vitamin.html

Thanks for reading ♥

Posted by: Ivy

This is 30 something….

I blame this post on the night I had a few weeks back- crying, drinking wine and watching the movie “This is 40” Please tell me you guys have seen this movie!?

 

Reminiscing:

So there I am all cuddled up on the couch -candles burning, wine in hand. White Merlot -if you are interested in what kind it was lol. So, I caught the movie at the part where Leslie Mann’s character is having a conversation with a young girl she hired (Megan Foxx) to help her run her clothing store. (I’m assuming she was in her twenties) So in mid conversation Leslie Mann’s character is in awe of how perky the the young girl is up top- At that moment she realizes that use to be her-and her life pretty much flashes before her eyes. Basically- realizing she is approaching forty, and things are just not the same-or should I say everything has pretty much floated towards the bottom of the sea! Boobs and all. I proceeded to watch the movie as I cried and laughed, laughed and cried… and I couldn’t help but think how fast the past ten years of my life has gone by- and how I would like the next ten to come in like molasses. It’s inevitable time will pass on, and I will get older. But will I be Leslie Mann in ten years? Will I be thinking that use to be me? Do I feel like that now…yea I ain’t gonna lie-it’s getting to me. I immediately texted my sister-in-law to see if she had ever seen this move before… and oddly enough, she was watching it too!!After I told her I had my wine glass in hand-she dug up a wine cooler from the back of her fridge-(and I INSISTED THAT SHE CHUG IT) LOL! Now mind you my SIL is not quite thirty-but that night in my mind she was! As we cried and shared text messages (well I’m assuming she was crying like me) Let’s just say she was-so I can feel better about myself. I began to reminisce about the days I use to be the youngest gal in the room-Drinks being bought for me because I wasn’t quite twenty-one just yet…sigh. Then I thought… we should cherish the opportunity to be able to look back , and reflect on the times we were weak and what made us stronger, the times we should have held on to a little longer-the lessons we learned. The challenges we faced so far being  parents, and trying to figure out our life as individuals. Thank you Alyssa (SIL) for being 30 something with me that night- and you didn’t even know it!

It’s okay to be selfish right?:

Growing up I always heard your thirties are the years where it all comes together. Remember the movie 13 going on 30? ‘Thirty, flirty, and thriving” lol! I remember seeing thirty as an age of INDEPENDENCE.  It was communicated that thirty should be the age where you are gracefully in the career you love, married, kids, house and all. Which are all amazing.  But in all actuality- soon all of this begins to play first in your life, and you slowly fade away in the darkness of “Where the hell did I go”? Next thing you know you are waking up trying to figure out where it all began-where am I going? and what was the goal again? Your life consist of constantly doing for others, and being the best you can be for everyone else around you. Forgetting the important fact that you matter too. And being the best you can be for yourself comes first. Gosh, I saw this as being selfish at first. “I come first”? But it’s not in a snobby way-in a healthy way. If you don’t take care of yourself first – it’s hard to do the same for others. Trust me- This will allow you to have a better perspective on life.

 

Say goodbye-Your twenties are gone Boo: 

When I was in my twenties I don’t even think I thought about this moment- this moment where I am 30 something realizing “time” and how significant it is. So I just celebrated a birthday-I was excited all the way up until the actual day. The morning of- I just felt BLAH…. I don’t know if I’m getting older , and growing out of cuing the confetti or what. Is this normal at this age-I mean I’m still young, and I still have so much ahead of me. I am no where near the end.  So after I got pass the melancholy feeling. I realized that I am Thankful. I am thankful for growth, strength, wisdom and good health.  So say goodbye for real for real twenties. I’m not thinking about you! I am off to bigger and better things boo. You would think I just had a thirtieth birthday-all this madness-Nope…I’m two more in!

There is more to come:

Thirty’s the new twenty- I’m so hot still! (In my Jay-Z voice). Yes, we have moved on-Don’t look down because the years ahead are looking good my friend. The older I get the older my kids get, which means the closer they are to spreading their wings and flying to their own nest! Oh, but that’s bitter sweet…sigh. Looking ahead makes life worth living. Doesn’t it? Or is that something we tell ourselves?! The lesson here is to enjoy life at whatever age and whatever stage. With age brings on wisdom, and also grey hair! Each stage in your life has a significant meaning and it’s our position to understand and dwell in that moment at that present time. Focus on the right now. In retrospect compare where you were then, and where  you are now. You see that growth?? Be grateful for that. Life can be so intricate at times. Especially when you allow small things to take the reins of your state of mind . Wake up everyday and tell yourself “There is more to come, girl!”

 

Can anyone relate? Where you ever stuck on what was behind you instead of focusing on what’s ahead?

Thank you for reading ♥

 

Posted by: Ivy B.

 

 

 

Mom Guilt (Straight guilt trippin)

What about what I want? Two year adult tantrum:

Mommy guilt is real! I am am Mom -true. But I am also someone who needs sleep and food (that I actually like to eat). How come every time I grocery shop the buggy is full of everything the kids eat. So, when I get home and unload groceries all I have is a bottle of wine? So, when it’s time to snack all I have is go gurts , gold fish, and halos. I mean really I need some adult snacks. There has to be a better separation here, and it starts with me. When I shop I go by my grocery list I have made prior to the grocery store trip- The list consist of what the kids need , and like household items, such as-cleaning supplies, toilet paper, and so on. But what about what I want ? My husband is gone working all week-so besides the kids I just gotta worry about what I want. Do you know how many times I have picked up items for myself-go down another isle grab what the kids need, on my way to check out-as I am counting the items in my cart-because yes I have a budget-I find myself throwing what I originally picked out for myself back on the shelves like one of those crazy, dramatic, over the top cartoon characters.

 

007 Grocery Store Trip:

I feel like I  need a separate grocery store trip for myself. Hmmm…that actually doesn’t sound too bad! Be bold, confident, and swift about a buggy full of all the adult snacks I want?  I’m so down for that. I have to get better. Oh, but this is not just grocery store problems… NO ma’am! I could be going to Target specifically  for something I need…new sweats, hair products etc. But end up looking around for the kids and BOOM! I have accomplished once again buying nothing for me…Ok, maybe a coffee mug that I couldn’t part with- but that totally was not on my list. So, I am back at square one-old jacked up sweats, dirty hair and a NEW coffee mug. WTF gives…. Mommin is tough-but I quickly remember that bottle of wine I snatched off the shelf at the grocery store, and  I am happy again. Go gurts, gold fish, halos and wine it is!

There has got to be a better way:

What’s the plan? Hell, I don’t know. It’s a mental thing I think..or am I just telling myself that. I guess maybe I have to remember my kids don’t need every snack in the store and maybe it’s okay to get myself the sweet n’ salty popcorn instead of the Doritos they beg for! Most of the time I try and do my quick grocery shopping while the kids are at school-because when they are with me they somehow talk me into buying a bunch of crap that I did not dedicate my budget to. ” But Mom” gets me every time. Be strong I tell myself, be strong…SIKE! Who am I fooling- as I sulk on the way to the register and whip the buggy around  (like I’m playing a role in the Fast and Furious 10) to deposit the items in the cart they so kindly begged for. Oh, the grocery store torture. So, maybe it’s not Mom guilt? Maybe it’s called putting your children first…Nope, it’s straight Mom Guilt.

 

So tell me I’m not the only one? What’s your Mom guilt? How do you handle it? Comment below.

 

Thanks for reading my guilt trip story-that I so need to get over ♥

 

Posted by: Ivy B.

Stay-at-home Mom update

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I found a grey hair!!!! The end…Ok, just kidding. But seriously I did find a grey hair and I ran to grab my twelve year old son to look under the light to confirm. I said to myself… “So, this is what we are doing now huh?” Geezzz… I guess I have no other choice but to embrace it. Does the grey hair confirm I am hitting the age of wisdom at 31 years old? Or is this grey hair telling me “Yes, High School is over you and you are really really an adult?” Is it weird to feel like you are still in high school, but you just have adult responsibilities? I mean I don’t think I ever feel like an adult on the inside. Every birthday I’m waiting for it to happen…I’m waiting to feel like an adult or feel like I have aged. It just doesn’t happen. I am not sure I have fully digested that I am really a Mom?- I feel like I am babysitting three kids that won’t go home!

 The Update:

It’s been four months since my last update-My nine year old cut his own hair with  paper. cutting scissors and he wrote his first love song/love letter. My twelve year old is growing like a weed, so is his hair- and he is growing out of the kiddie table. Conversations are different, and heart attack worthy. My five year old is getting bossier , sassy, and swears she is in control of her life and her brother’s lives. You can’t tell her nothing now that she can read. (So no more spelling words in front of her to talk in code) She is so eagerly watching my every move-she has more and more questions than I can answer.

I feel like a Circus Clown:

It’s been a little over a year since I became a sahm. I am still learning more and more , and still trying to juggle it all.  Trying to keep a schedule for myself to get things done is still a work in progress. I am always saying what I need to be doing, and what should be done-but my husband constantly reassures me that I have to stop being so hard on myself, and what gets done, gets done. I guess I can’t argue with that. Now, that the holidays have commenced- there are more teacher work days-and the long holiday breaks . (These kids got it good nowadays) When were we out of school this much? Trying to keep the kids busy so they don’t strangle one another is a task within itself. Lord, help me!

 

Keep in mind, Keep your cool: The kids are watching

I have to talk myself into calm mode when things are getting out of hand. Yelling is not going to get them to listen-but when I have said it five times over- I have reached my limit, and now you feel the wrath of MAMA BEAR JOE! (If you know my nickname -you know who this is) In my moment of cool down- I have to remember that there is a better way to handle certain situations. My kids feel my frustration, they can feel tension- and the last memory I want them to have of me is yelling and screaming. So, it’s important for me to step away and pray, reflect, and recollect. Even though it’s all their fault! Ha! j/k…

Split Personality:

I definitely feel like I am three different people. Because of the age difference my kids need a different me, a different response, a different approach, different chastising and so on. It’s so real  I am thinking of naming all three of me, and giving my kids that assigned name to call me! Maybe this will eliminate the confusion? Too much? One thing that is not different is my love for them. No matter what-I love them all the same.

 

Inspired:

This years Presidential Election has inspired my kids immensely. Both CJ and Kaylee have decided to run for president of the house. They each made a list of what they would offer around the house-such as :making coffee, making cereal, free time, making pizza, buying a trampoline, etc.  They taped the individual sheets with the list of duties on the wall, and at the bottom of each sheet read “Tally here ⇓” -knocked my socks off! Little do they know ….Mommy and Daddy are the President and First Lady of this house! But I love how they were inspired. Our kids hear, see and watch when we don’t think they are. They had so many questions about the election this year. It really blew me away. I like the fact that my kids are learning how to be leaders in their own right. They don’t even know it-but they have inspired me.  (Shhh!! I voted for both of them ;))

 

(To all my Mom’s—working, sahm, work from home sahm)  What have you learned about yourself and your kids these last couple of months? What do your kids do to inspire you? Comment below!

 

Posted by: Ivy B.

 

Thanks for reading ♥

 

 

 

 

 

Heat Damage! 5 tips to healthy hair

A NEW video is up on my YouTube Channel. Today, I am talking about the heat damage I am experiencing at this stage in my two year natural hair journey. It’s totally devastating that after only getting my hair straightened  twice since I have been natural , and my hair colored twice that my hair turned out to be DAMAGED GOODS!! Have you experienced heat damage?! I am talking all about it, and giving you 5 tips to stick by on your way back to your natural healthy state.  Click the link below and check it out! Be sure to SUBSCRIBE. LIKE. AND COMMENT  ♥

Thanks for watching

Posted by: Ivy B.

What do Women want? (Everything) 5 questions you should ask yourself

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We want it all:

We want to be in good health, great friends, supportive friends. We want great relationships with our spouses/or boyfriends. Working women want  great pay-and the credit they deserve for modeling the perfection of what an amazing employee is. Stay at home mom’s want to be the best SAHM they can be. House clean from top to bottom, the best peanut butter & jelly sandwich making, perfect apple cutting, kids bathed and in the bed on time managing , and present to every school event with fresh muffins in hand. Women want to be the best friend they can be-they want to be dependable, loyal and trustworthy. Women want to be the best wife a husband could every ask for. We want to please our husbands, carry the load of the house, and still look like not one hair on our head is out of place. Can women have it all?

Truth of the matter is:

It starts with us. The expectations we are setting for ourselves-are they realistic? How important are they? It starts with self guidance and personal leadership. How another women is “having it all” should not affect yours. We have to understand what we are doing and how important it is to us. We have to know our worth- For example:If you are that working woman, and you know you kick butt at work everyday, on time, dependable, killing it under pressure, put up with crap you don’t have to, and you feel underpaid- you know you are worth more…go get it. Your boss ain’t handing out free raises. So, get what’s yours, and be strong about it. You can have it all! Why not get everything you can out of life. We only live once-just once.

Mind over matter:

Every thought, every word, every motive starts in our minds. If you feel like a shitty person everyday-and you keep telling yourself you are a shitty person. Well, I hate to break it to you-but you are a shitty person. We can’t allow ourselves to knock us down. We only react off of what we think we are to ourselves and other people. Whatever you put out into the universe will boomerang you right back in the head. Giving yourself opportunity is the best thing you can do. Because with opportunity comes an open door, and it’s up to us on whether or not we decide to walk through it. It’s our fault we don’t have it all. You know why? Because the moment someone tells us we can’t -we have already programmed in our minds that it’s not even remotely possible. When someone tries to persuade you to believe other wise about what you are doing-that is just their own insecurity talking because they are afraid of trying. Your state of mind is everything. You have to really believe it first before you can actually take action to gain whatever your “ALL” is.

We are all different:

We were not all born the same. God gave each of us an individual talent that is just for us. You can’t go out and chase another woman’s “ALL”. What I feel like is “having it all” might be different from yours, so no, we are not going to travel the same path, and we are not going to have the same goals. And that’s just that. Scratching and sniffing at someone else’s get’s you  nowhere, but looking crazy. Find your own path and go get it! So, I leave you with this-

Five questions you should ask yourself:

  1. What does “having it all” mean to you?
  2. Do you believe you can obtain everything you desire?
  3. What are your expectations?
  4. Are they realistic?
  5. What’s the plan?

Bonus* Before moving forward you have to work on yourself, and stay in your lane.

If you answered yes to all of these… I believe  you’re on your way to having everything you need and desire. You see, I don’t believe it takes much at all. We just have to remember the power we possess as women.

What does “having it all to you” mean?

Thanks for reading♥

Posted by: Ivy