The Highs and Lows of my Natural Hair Journey

It’s been 2 1/2 years since I BIG CHOPPED. Let me tell you…I have learned so many things about my hair and myself. Let’s start from the beginning…

Why did I Big Chop?: I was at a stand still with my hair. My hair never really grew past a certain length. I have fine hair and relaxers I felt did not do my hair any justice. Of course I definitely enjoyed getting relaxers and how my hair behaved, but for the health of my hair- there was no benefit there for me. I attempted to go natural about three times-Which means starting the process of growing out my relaxer (transition) I would be a few months into it, and quickly give up-back to the “creamy crack” as they call it in no time-soon regretting my decision shortly after. The fourth time was the charm for me…. This time around I researched (watched YouTube tutorials), watched natural product reviews, watched a million “why I Big Chopped” for months in. I finally decided I was ready. I grew my hair out for seven months and one morning….this happened.

Screenshot_2017-04-19-16-59-09-1[1] Relaxed Ends…

 

August 29th 2014- was the start of my Natural Hair Journey. And I was so here for it.

Screenshot_2017-04-19-17-00-32-1[1] The results…

 

The Morning of my BC: I got up and realized that day I was tired of dealing with two different textures-my roots were curly and wavy, and my ends were straight like wet dog hair Lol! It was a disaster, and way too difficult to deal with it. I was over it. I remember calling my Mom and venting to her about how I could see my natural hair coming through, and how I was so tired of my hair and blah blah blah…on the other end my  mom proceeded to tell me to do what I feel, and what every makes me happy….as she was talking… I was cutting-and she didn’t even know it! As I was cutting…the inner me was freaking out-but I kept my cool and proceeded to chop away. Mind you my husband was in the living room this entire time while I was locked in my bathroom. After making sure I had finished the job-I came out the bathroom to reveal my new look to my husband. As I looked him face to face…his eyebrows were together- I assume he was trying to figure out what just happen. I sat on the couch and as quite as a mouse I asked him ” Do you like it?” His answer was as comforting as it could get. He told me ” See, I told you you would look good with short hair” Whew! Later that night I washed my hair, and it felt amazing guys!! Gosh, I just loved how easy it was. I did it!! I faced the fear!! I felt so free and liberated.

 

The morning after my BC:  My feelings had changed… I don’t know what happened…but I felt like I made a mistake. I chopped my hair over the weekend. So, facing Monday and going into work with a new look was weighing heavy on me. I wasn’t sure I could pull this off. I was thinking of trying to get braids as a protective style to cover up what I had did. My mind was going crazy… I was all over the place, girl. I went throughout the weekend trying to get use to the new me. Trying to just embrace my natural. Let’s just say after all the encouragement from my Husband and my Mom- and a little self talk- and a few new cute headbands- I was ready to take on this natural journey. It’s funny how we can be so set on making a decision that initially is a healthy decision for US-and soon we slowly feel guilt because we are scared if we are going to be accepted by others…not just by others but how we accept ourselves. There is a lesson in everything. Yes, I have experience highs and lows in this journey-but I can say I have learned to embrace who I am, and to trust the decisions I make for myself. Yes, decisions as small as cutting my hair. I can honestly say I have never embraced myself the way that I do now.

The Highs: Coming to realize all the different things I could do with my hair was amazing. And an eye opener, and I was ready to experiment. All the hair products that were out there- I felt like a kid in a toy store. All the deep conditioners, co-washes, gels, creams, moisturizers- I was becoming a product junkie and loving it! As my hair was growing I could figure out what hair styles worked for me, and how to tweak them to fit my head HA! Watching my waves change into my own curl pattern and gorgeous juicy curls-that was giving me my life. It was so exciting watching my hair convert after I washed it from wearing stretched styles. Being fascinated by the way different products worked on my hair, and which products my curls loved, and which ones not so much. I enjoyed tracking my growth and was excited about the day I could slick all my hair back in a sleek  bun! I was wining at that point, girl.

The Lows: Okay, so here it goes. When your hair is growing out into a funky fro because you haven’t quite gotten it cut into the proper shape. The low points when you get your hair straightened and colored, and realized you have heat damage…like severe heat damage. When you go to wash your hair, and your curls do not revert back after only getting your hair straightened twice in the two years (9 months in between) you have been natural. When I tell you I was devastated….The feeling you get in your chest when you think you may possibly have to start all the way over- It’s crushing. You work so hard to grow your hair out-all the patience you’ve gained. Feels like it’s all a waste. But it’s hair! And it’s all a learning experience.

 

What I would have done differently:  I wish I would have went to a professional to cut the strains I missed when I big chopped-and shaped my hair to grow in the look I was going for. I had a few stragglers of hair behind that I basically just dealt with until my hair grew out more. I wish I had of really thought about coloring my hair- I wish I had of waited until I really understood my natural hair- I was bored with it and wanted to do something different-#FAIL. And last but certainly not least, I wish I would have pumped my breaks on straightening my hair . I was so curious to know how long my hair had gotten in the result of my big chop. Well, curiosity killed the damn cat! That’s for sure.

 

It’s all good: I cut off my heat damaged ends for the most part-my hair suffered the most in the front-When I tell you I went to town chopping like Edward Scissor hands. Luckily the back of my hair was not damaged as bad-and it’s pretty long . Basically, my hair looks like a mullet LOL! So, that has given me hope. It’s all good… I have pretty much been nursing my hair back to health. Doing protein treatments, deep conditioning my hair, and protective styling. And of course taking my Curls  Blissful Lengths Liquid Hair Growth Vitamin’s on a daily. I haven’t decided  if I am actually going to start over and completely big chop for the second time,  or just continue to allow my hair to grow and get a big trim. I can say experiencing heat damage has truly made me appreciate my hair and my  journey.  Protective styling it is for now and throughout the summer. I have posted pictures  below of some different stages I went through…. Enjoy!

Screenshot_2017-04-19-17-03-51-1[1]Screenshot_2017-04-19-17-03-36-1[1]Screenshot_2017-04-19-16-52-48-1[1]Screenshot_2017-04-19-16-50-59-1[1] Screenshot_2017-04-19-16-51-11-1[1]

Embracing my cut                  Started seeing real growth          1st time straightened

 

Screenshot_2017-04-19-16-44-40-1[1]Screenshot_2017-04-19-16-41-31-1[1]Screenshot_2017-04-19-16-41-24-1[1]Screenshot_2017-04-19-16-43-21-1[1]

2nd time straightened               DAMAGED                            Protective Styling

 

Screenshot_2017-04-19-16-42-45-1[1]Screenshot_2017-04-19-16-40-39-1[1]Screenshot_2017-04-05-21-40-00-1-1[1]Screenshot_2017-04-05-21-40-04-1[1]

After take-down       Trying to cope     Back to protective styles

What are some of your highs and lows in your natural hair journey?

If you are not natural, but plan on going that route- I hope this post helps you not make the same mistakes I made.  Happy Healthy Natural Hair Journey!

 

P.S. (I have a heat damage video on my Youtube Channel-Be sure to subscribe while you are there 😉  YouTube: Ivy’s Vine

 

Thanks for reading ♥

 

Posted by: Ivy B.

 

 

 

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Did I drop the ball?

The Letter:I was recently informed my son (the nine year old) is not during so hot on the standardized testing in school. We got a letter informing us that he may face retention if he does not show any progress in the next  quarter. (Heart dropped in my stomach) I immediately got a stress headache, and paced the floor-calling my husband who was working at the time. We were both trying to come up with a game plan.  Which we have been down this road before-When CJ was in the second grade he was threatening retention because of those standardized test scores. We got him a tutor and starting the beginning of this year he showed much, much improvement. Throughout the year his scores would fluctuate. The students test all throughout the year-and towards the end of the third quarter, if your child/student scores low parents are then notified. So here we are… We know there is a focusing issue CJ deals with-which we have know for a while- I just don’t know what to do about it. Our goal as parents is to provide our kids with as much access as we can. My husband and myself continue to help our son in the areas needed- but we are not educators (as far as the field of education goes in the school system). So, maybe the help he is getting from us is not helping as much as we think?  When swapping out to help our son-he seems to be doing well with drills, and practice work we give him. Where there is struggle we work harder .As far as coursework in class, his grades are fine-but when it comes to those standardized test-it’s just not his jam. After receiving that academic progress letter-I immediately asked myself -“Did I drop the ball?” “Where did we go wrong?”

The delay: Earlier this year when CJ began to show improvement we got so excited-and felt like he could fly on his own without the EXTRA help-maybe we let go a little too soon. We stopped pushing him as hard. CJ has had a intricate journey in his development- To give you a little bit of history-CJ did not start talking to where you could actually understand him until he was four years old. We took him to get evaluated at two years old-we were told he had a developmental delay, and that Autism  and ADHD we could mark off our list- So when CJ turned three years old-we noticed something still was not right. And you know as a parent- you just know your kid. Even when outsiders told us he was fine- we just knew. So, we were able to have CJ see a Speech Pathologist during the summer- CJ started coming around as far as forming sentences, and being able to express to us what was wrong -and clearly expressing wants and needs. But still something still just wasn’t right. Fast forward to Kindergarten we were told not to express CJ’s hiccups until the teacher says something about his development (just to give the teacher a chance to spot something on her own-rather than expecting him to do what we have told her-basically allow her to form her own opinion of what she sees vs. what we see. All of CJ’s teachers informed us they are not concerned with a learning issue- and that further evaluation is not necessary(we even went as far as having meetings with the education administrator and his second grade teacher at the time to see if CJ could be placed in development programs at school-we were told his test scores were not low enough for the school to approve him to attend the program because it was funded by the school-and if the scores did not reflect (low enough to get extra help) they were not going to pay for it-

Rewind: prior to CJ starting Kindergarten we were able to get him tutored because we wanted to ensure he was ready to start elementary comfortably and be able to  keep up with his classmates- during tutoring sessions, there he learned the basics but still a focus issue. Every since kindergarten it has been a struggle for CJ. During his first year in school we took CJ back to his doctor to see if there was a need for further evaluation and we were told no-Basically he had a delay and it’s just taking time for him to come around in certain areas.  Fast forward to third grade- and we are still concerned.We have been told on many occasions not to compare CJ to our oldest and where he was at this age-because all children are different , and learn differently. And we definitely understood that.  But when you have an older child that performed totally different you can’t help but raise an eyebrow.

Now : CJ is at the grade level where these standardized test count and depend on the passing of your grade- What do we do? We can work with CJ all day long at home until we are blue in the face-but when it comes time to take those test- we can’t be there with him. I can’t turn to him and say “CJ stay focused, baby” It’s all up to him. And as parents we are scared. At this point my husband and myself feel it’s time CJ get’s another evaluation-an extensive one now that he is nine years old. We have to get this focusing issue under control. Every report we have received from CJ’s teacher’s have been great news as a student-it is just hard for him to focus, stay on task and work independently in class. (This has been the same report since Kindergarten. At home the school provides an app called RAZKids which allows him to practice reading a few passages, and answering ten questions (to prep him for the real test) The EOG (End of Grade testing)-which he gets every question right- At school the standard practice test are attached with passages- but there are twenty-five questions. And I feel that’s what has him hung up- Somewhere in between that 15th-25th question he gets completely aggravated and just wants to get it done. Which leaves him, selecting  (All of the above)-and ends up scoring low.

As a parent I have learned and I am still learning each of my kids are different, and require different attention to certain needs. With CJ I know it’s consistency. He has to continue to be pushed for however long it takes-

Have any of you Mommy’s out there experienced anything similar to my situation? What did you do? Any suggestions for me?

Thanks for reading ♥

Posted By: Ivy (a frustrated-but hopeful Mom)

Back to the basics-getting back to the plan

Back to the basics. What does this even mean? Sometimes you can get so caught up in what’s going on around you-that you forget what your goals are, and what’s ahead for you. That means going back to the drawing board. What was the initial plan? Refer back to notes and bullet points you created for yourself. To live a fulfilling life is to put your best foot forward. What does that mean? It means never half step-if it’s not your best don’t do it. Go back and figure out how to make it better. How? I have compiled a list of ten things to check off below.

  1. Reassure yourself you got this/I am capable
  2. Mute the background noise/the worse thing in life is to have a bunch of people around you who don’t believe in you
  3. Be honest with yourself-there is always time to refocus.
  4. Be BRAVE
  5. If your only reason to do what you do is for the applause from the crowd… then your’re DOOMED!
  6. Be determined-to be discouraged at times-that comes natural, don’t stay there long. Brush it off (quickly)
  7. Never become complacent-always find ways to build.
  8.  The areas you are weak in…don’t run from it, and don’t be afraid to work harder in that area it will end up being your strong suit.
  9.  Be able to identity yourself. If you find yourself doing things that are totally out of your character-you may want to give yourself a friendly reminder of who you are
  10. Stay focused on your outcome not someone else’s.
  11. * BONUS- Live. Every. Moment. It is so important to be present in your life right now. To actually be AWARE. If going back to the basics is what it takes- Do it!

Loving you and who you are is so important. It can be a struggle for some-but investing  in yourself daily is the goal-investing in yourself spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally all play a major part in your journey. Take care of you.

What are some things you do when you find yourself going back to the basics?

Thanks for reading ♥

Posted by: Ivy B.

The Switch Up

{Definitely  what I have been doing. But honestly I have been struggling guys. I have been so sluggish… lately I haven’t had a lot of energy. I mean I have been feeling so blah… I figured maybe I need to change up my routine. Trying to trade chocolate/terrible snacks for fruits, and coffee for green tea . In the mean time cutting back on the wine (notice I said cut back, not cut out) Ha! For the last week I have been trying to incorporate more fruits in my diet… I already drink an ocean load of water-which I kind of felt like it was making me sick (is that even possible?) Anyway, I reverted back to water with tons of lemon. I forgot how good it taste. Not to mention the great benefits lemon water has. (Refer to my previous post Detoxing Anyone? ) It’s kind of giving me a boost during the day. I have been filling water bottle after water bottle, adding lemon and let the water bottle sit in the freezer for just a  little bit. Just enough to get those ice chips. Oh yes! Perfect and so refreshing.}

So, what you just read ⇑ I wrote and saved as a draft four months ago. I’m scratching my head trying to figure out why I didn’t post it. But I can report that I am happy to say my feelings , energy and all the above have totally changed since then. I have been doing things a little different since then, that I can say I have definitely benefited from. I feel it  is so important to be honest with yourself. The lesson in this is to make changes to actually  see some change! Now I didn’t want to tweak this too much because I wanted to actually  compare what I was doing then and what I am doing now. Am I doing the same thing? As far as the coffee -Hmmmm…I am back on it full blown. Ha! I am so not drinking green tea… I am getting a little more sleep. Reading meaningful books-to keep me motivated, encouraged, and inspired. I have definitely cut back on the sweet snacks (I am very proud of this accomplishment) ha! I absolutely indulge when the time is appropriate-but to make the choice between fruit or a crappy snack -It’s been fruits and veggies, and eating more salads-instead of meals that weigh me down. (Now, this is not all the time-and I am not a health nut whatsoever -but I am making better CHOICES. I am still drinking loads of water with lemon-So, that hasn’t changed at all! But there is something else that I have done differently that has given me the extra boost I needed. I have swapped out my Women’s One a day vitamins for the Curls Blissful lengths liquid hair growth vitamin. Yep, that’s right guys. A simple switch in vitamins, and I can see the light! (Cue the heavenly angel music)- Oh, with the dramatics! Seriously ladies-this bottle of magic as worked wonders for me as far as energy. I have noticed enough for me to write this post or else I wouldn’t even waist time or I would just tell you it sucked. Let’s get into it. So the bottle claims to…

*Promote Healthy & Thick Hair and Nail growth

*Support Prevenative Skin Health

*Optimizes Metabolism

*No breakouts

Did you guys know that you absorb 98% of the liquid vitamin vs. 20% from a pill? (Yea I didn’t’ know that until I read it on the bottle) and I don’t know about y’all but I much rather take a liquid then fight to swallow a horse pill!

Now, I haven’t had any breakouts-so that’s a plus. My energy level is crazy-and the morning coffee is pushing that limit. I haven’t noticed any significant changes in my hair growth as of yet-but I am sure it’s coming. I have noticed that my curls are shiny and pop more, and super soft. (The curls that are not damaged anyway) Side Note: Still suffering from heat damage damn it! So, that’s a plus…NOT! I will attach a pic below so you guys can check out the ingredients for yourself. I absolutely recommend this vitamin if you are looking for the keys listed above. Although, this product may not be for everybody-you may experience something totally different -but you never know until you try it! So…where can you get it from? How much does this bottle of magic cost? The cost of the 8 oz bottle is a nice 25 bucks-and the bottle last for 15 days- Yea, that’s right you will have to repurchase a good bit, but I would say so far for me it’s worth it. You can purchase straight from the website itself (which I will link below) and they sell it in Target now! Whoo Hoo!! (online right now anyway) It’s coming soon to stores sometime this month. I am loving that. Oh, yea did I mention I am back at work now? Yep, just part time- I am off in time to get the kiddies off the bus-So getting out the house for a few hours during the day has contributed to my energy boost as well.

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Since I have been drinking my lemon water , and grabbing for fruit instead of chocolate chip cookies, gold fish or cheez- its- I can definitely say I have seen a difference in my energy level-What’s the reason for the switch up? Can I just vent for a second? My mind has been filled with so much lately. I find myself out of it sometimes. I think I finally got a routine set in place at home (which is great) but I was just feeling drained/exhausted. With the lack of sleep and ten thousand other things… Something had to change. So, I went on the hunt for a new vitamin and this was recommended to me by a fellow blogger. If I am going to be honest- I must say I was slightly skeptical at first-but my job as a blogger is to try new things-so I tried it. LOL! Honestly my One a day was not cutting it-and I needed to switch it up. Seriously though I am in between bottles because I only purchased one on my first order-because I wanted to make sure it actually worked for me. I can say with the vitamin being out of my system for a week now-I am feeling the pain! My energy is crap-like I have to push myself-I just don’t feel as good as I did when I was taking it. With me being slightly anemic-I have to keep a vitamin in my routine constantly or I don’t feel good at all. So, I definitely can’t wait until my new bottle comes in.

When it’s all said and done life is too short. And it is meant for us to enjoy the sweet things in life- but there is nothing wrong with re-working the route when things are looking a little ragged to better yourself. And what more could you ask for in a vitamin like this-to give you all that you need to keep your skin on point, energy level rocking, and your hair strong and in a good healthy state. I’m here for that!

What are you guys doing for a boost? Any other suggestions for me? If you purchase this vitamin or have already-write me a comment and let me know what you think and how it’s working for you. Get you a bottle girl! I will keep you guys posted when I start to see some hair growth.

http://www.curls.biz/Blissful-Lengths-Liquid-Hair-Growth-Vitamin.html

Thanks for reading ♥

Posted by: Ivy

This is 30 something….

I blame this post on the night I had a few weeks back- crying, drinking wine and watching the movie “This is 40” Please tell me you guys have seen this movie!?

 

Reminiscing:

So there I am all cuddled up on the couch -candles burning, wine in hand. White Merlot -if you are interested in what kind it was lol. So, I caught the movie at the part where Leslie Mann’s character is having a conversation with a young girl she hired (Megan Foxx) to help her run her clothing store. (I’m assuming she was in her twenties) So in mid conversation Leslie Mann’s character is in awe of how perky the the young girl is up top- At that moment she realizes that use to be her-and her life pretty much flashes before her eyes. Basically- realizing she is approaching forty, and things are just not the same-or should I say everything has pretty much floated towards the bottom of the sea! Boobs and all. I proceeded to watch the movie as I cried and laughed, laughed and cried… and I couldn’t help but think how fast the past ten years of my life has gone by- and how I would like the next ten to come in like molasses. It’s inevitable time will pass on, and I will get older. But will I be Leslie Mann in ten years? Will I be thinking that use to be me? Do I feel like that now…yea I ain’t gonna lie-it’s getting to me. I immediately texted my sister-in-law to see if she had ever seen this move before… and oddly enough, she was watching it too!!After I told her I had my wine glass in hand-she dug up a wine cooler from the back of her fridge-(and I INSISTED THAT SHE CHUG IT) LOL! Now mind you my SIL is not quite thirty-but that night in my mind she was! As we cried and shared text messages (well I’m assuming she was crying like me) Let’s just say she was-so I can feel better about myself. I began to reminisce about the days I use to be the youngest gal in the room-Drinks being bought for me because I wasn’t quite twenty-one just yet…sigh. Then I thought… we should cherish the opportunity to be able to look back , and reflect on the times we were weak and what made us stronger, the times we should have held on to a little longer-the lessons we learned. The challenges we faced so far being  parents, and trying to figure out our life as individuals. Thank you Alyssa (SIL) for being 30 something with me that night- and you didn’t even know it!

It’s okay to be selfish right?:

Growing up I always heard your thirties are the years where it all comes together. Remember the movie 13 going on 30? ‘Thirty, flirty, and thriving” lol! I remember seeing thirty as an age of INDEPENDENCE.  It was communicated that thirty should be the age where you are gracefully in the career you love, married, kids, house and all. Which are all amazing.  But in all actuality- soon all of this begins to play first in your life, and you slowly fade away in the darkness of “Where the hell did I go”? Next thing you know you are waking up trying to figure out where it all began-where am I going? and what was the goal again? Your life consist of constantly doing for others, and being the best you can be for everyone else around you. Forgetting the important fact that you matter too. And being the best you can be for yourself comes first. Gosh, I saw this as being selfish at first. “I come first”? But it’s not in a snobby way-in a healthy way. If you don’t take care of yourself first – it’s hard to do the same for others. Trust me- This will allow you to have a better perspective on life.

 

Say goodbye-Your twenties are gone Boo: 

When I was in my twenties I don’t even think I thought about this moment- this moment where I am 30 something realizing “time” and how significant it is. So I just celebrated a birthday-I was excited all the way up until the actual day. The morning of- I just felt BLAH…. I don’t know if I’m getting older , and growing out of cuing the confetti or what. Is this normal at this age-I mean I’m still young, and I still have so much ahead of me. I am no where near the end.  So after I got pass the melancholy feeling. I realized that I am Thankful. I am thankful for growth, strength, wisdom and good health.  So say goodbye for real for real twenties. I’m not thinking about you! I am off to bigger and better things boo. You would think I just had a thirtieth birthday-all this madness-Nope…I’m two more in!

There is more to come:

Thirty’s the new twenty- I’m so hot still! (In my Jay-Z voice). Yes, we have moved on-Don’t look down because the years ahead are looking good my friend. The older I get the older my kids get, which means the closer they are to spreading their wings and flying to their own nest! Oh, but that’s bitter sweet…sigh. Looking ahead makes life worth living. Doesn’t it? Or is that something we tell ourselves?! The lesson here is to enjoy life at whatever age and whatever stage. With age brings on wisdom, and also grey hair! Each stage in your life has a significant meaning and it’s our position to understand and dwell in that moment at that present time. Focus on the right now. In retrospect compare where you were then, and where  you are now. You see that growth?? Be grateful for that. Life can be so intricate at times. Especially when you allow small things to take the reins of your state of mind . Wake up everyday and tell yourself “There is more to come, girl!”

 

Can anyone relate? Where you ever stuck on what was behind you instead of focusing on what’s ahead?

Thank you for reading ♥

 

Posted by: Ivy B.

 

 

 

Mom Guilt (Straight guilt trippin)

What about what I want? Two year adult tantrum:

Mommy guilt is real! I am am Mom -true. But I am also someone who needs sleep and food (that I actually like to eat). How come every time I grocery shop the buggy is full of everything the kids eat. So, when I get home and unload groceries all I have is a bottle of wine? So, when it’s time to snack all I have is go gurts , gold fish, and halos. I mean really I need some adult snacks. There has to be a better separation here, and it starts with me. When I shop I go by my grocery list I have made prior to the grocery store trip- The list consist of what the kids need , and like household items, such as-cleaning supplies, toilet paper, and so on. But what about what I want ? My husband is gone working all week-so besides the kids I just gotta worry about what I want. Do you know how many times I have picked up items for myself-go down another isle grab what the kids need, on my way to check out-as I am counting the items in my cart-because yes I have a budget-I find myself throwing what I originally picked out for myself back on the shelves like one of those crazy, dramatic, over the top cartoon characters.

 

007 Grocery Store Trip:

I feel like I  need a separate grocery store trip for myself. Hmmm…that actually doesn’t sound too bad! Be bold, confident, and swift about a buggy full of all the adult snacks I want?  I’m so down for that. I have to get better. Oh, but this is not just grocery store problems… NO ma’am! I could be going to Target specifically  for something I need…new sweats, hair products etc. But end up looking around for the kids and BOOM! I have accomplished once again buying nothing for me…Ok, maybe a coffee mug that I couldn’t part with- but that totally was not on my list. So, I am back at square one-old jacked up sweats, dirty hair and a NEW coffee mug. WTF gives…. Mommin is tough-but I quickly remember that bottle of wine I snatched off the shelf at the grocery store, and  I am happy again. Go gurts, gold fish, halos and wine it is!

There has got to be a better way:

What’s the plan? Hell, I don’t know. It’s a mental thing I think..or am I just telling myself that. I guess maybe I have to remember my kids don’t need every snack in the store and maybe it’s okay to get myself the sweet n’ salty popcorn instead of the Doritos they beg for! Most of the time I try and do my quick grocery shopping while the kids are at school-because when they are with me they somehow talk me into buying a bunch of crap that I did not dedicate my budget to. ” But Mom” gets me every time. Be strong I tell myself, be strong…SIKE! Who am I fooling- as I sulk on the way to the register and whip the buggy around  (like I’m playing a role in the Fast and Furious 10) to deposit the items in the cart they so kindly begged for. Oh, the grocery store torture. So, maybe it’s not Mom guilt? Maybe it’s called putting your children first…Nope, it’s straight Mom Guilt.

 

So tell me I’m not the only one? What’s your Mom guilt? How do you handle it? Comment below.

 

Thanks for reading my guilt trip story-that I so need to get over ♥

 

Posted by: Ivy B.

Stay-at-home Mom update

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I found a grey hair!!!! The end…Ok, just kidding. But seriously I did find a grey hair and I ran to grab my twelve year old son to look under the light to confirm. I said to myself… “So, this is what we are doing now huh?” Geezzz… I guess I have no other choice but to embrace it. Does the grey hair confirm I am hitting the age of wisdom at 31 years old? Or is this grey hair telling me “Yes, High School is over you and you are really really an adult?” Is it weird to feel like you are still in high school, but you just have adult responsibilities? I mean I don’t think I ever feel like an adult on the inside. Every birthday I’m waiting for it to happen…I’m waiting to feel like an adult or feel like I have aged. It just doesn’t happen. I am not sure I have fully digested that I am really a Mom?- I feel like I am babysitting three kids that won’t go home!

 The Update:

It’s been four months since my last update-My nine year old cut his own hair with  paper. cutting scissors and he wrote his first love song/love letter. My twelve year old is growing like a weed, so is his hair- and he is growing out of the kiddie table. Conversations are different, and heart attack worthy. My five year old is getting bossier , sassy, and swears she is in control of her life and her brother’s lives. You can’t tell her nothing now that she can read. (So no more spelling words in front of her to talk in code) She is so eagerly watching my every move-she has more and more questions than I can answer.

I feel like a Circus Clown:

It’s been a little over a year since I became a sahm. I am still learning more and more , and still trying to juggle it all.  Trying to keep a schedule for myself to get things done is still a work in progress. I am always saying what I need to be doing, and what should be done-but my husband constantly reassures me that I have to stop being so hard on myself, and what gets done, gets done. I guess I can’t argue with that. Now, that the holidays have commenced- there are more teacher work days-and the long holiday breaks . (These kids got it good nowadays) When were we out of school this much? Trying to keep the kids busy so they don’t strangle one another is a task within itself. Lord, help me!

 

Keep in mind, Keep your cool: The kids are watching

I have to talk myself into calm mode when things are getting out of hand. Yelling is not going to get them to listen-but when I have said it five times over- I have reached my limit, and now you feel the wrath of MAMA BEAR JOE! (If you know my nickname -you know who this is) In my moment of cool down- I have to remember that there is a better way to handle certain situations. My kids feel my frustration, they can feel tension- and the last memory I want them to have of me is yelling and screaming. So, it’s important for me to step away and pray, reflect, and recollect. Even though it’s all their fault! Ha! j/k…

Split Personality:

I definitely feel like I am three different people. Because of the age difference my kids need a different me, a different response, a different approach, different chastising and so on. It’s so real  I am thinking of naming all three of me, and giving my kids that assigned name to call me! Maybe this will eliminate the confusion? Too much? One thing that is not different is my love for them. No matter what-I love them all the same.

 

Inspired:

This years Presidential Election has inspired my kids immensely. Both CJ and Kaylee have decided to run for president of the house. They each made a list of what they would offer around the house-such as :making coffee, making cereal, free time, making pizza, buying a trampoline, etc.  They taped the individual sheets with the list of duties on the wall, and at the bottom of each sheet read “Tally here ⇓” -knocked my socks off! Little do they know ….Mommy and Daddy are the President and First Lady of this house! But I love how they were inspired. Our kids hear, see and watch when we don’t think they are. They had so many questions about the election this year. It really blew me away. I like the fact that my kids are learning how to be leaders in their own right. They don’t even know it-but they have inspired me.  (Shhh!! I voted for both of them ;))

 

(To all my Mom’s—working, sahm, work from home sahm)  What have you learned about yourself and your kids these last couple of months? What do your kids do to inspire you? Comment below!

 

Posted by: Ivy B.

 

Thanks for reading ♥